


…and by no one more than me

by ChiefDoctor



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Original Character Death(s), Save our Mattex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4271820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiefDoctor/pseuds/ChiefDoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a routine day out for lunch and shopping when a side trip changes everything.  "It will just take a tic." She promises him before their entire world turns upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Did It End Up Like This?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Independence Day to everyone whether in America or not. Hold your loved ones close and cherish your freedoms always.  
> Here's a little something I found while cleaning up my hard drive. Lord knows what else I might just find in there!!

Alex is at the hospital waiting next to Matt’s bed.  He’s hooked up to all kinds of machines.  The nurses and doctors bustle in and out.  She sits there watching him vaguely aware of what is going on around her.  Her hands shake and her body trembles but none of that registers as she carefully watches his chest to be certain that it breathes in and out.  Ignoring the knowledge that a machine is helping with that process she breathes along with him.  She can’t think of what she will do if she has to breathe on her own.

She is startled by the warm arms pressing around her before she hears her sister’s voice.  “Are you alright, Alex?”

Turning she looks up into her sister’s eyes grateful that she is here.  When Nicola sees the hollowed out look on Alex’s face her concern escalates even more than it had been since her phone call.  Considering she had called to tell her they had been involved in a bank heist and that they were at the hospital…that was saying something.

Quickly she drops her bag and coat by the window, dragging the empty chair over to where Alex sits next to his bed.  Pulling her to her she cradles Alex’s head into her chest.  “I’m here now.  It’s going to be ok.  Everything is going to be ok.”  She soothes as she rubs small circles around her back.

Alex clings to her as if she is a lifeline.  Despite Alex being the older sister that role has never suited her.  Nicola has always been the stable one, there at a moment’s notice to help with whatever crisis needed sorting out.  At this moment, Alex was grateful for that because she didn’t think she could be strong on her own anymore.  She’d rather used all of that up earlier in the day.

After a few minutes, Nicola pulls back to take in Alex’s face.  There are tears running down her face but her face bears the evidence that this isn’t the first time today that has occurred.  But what unnerves her most is the absolute terror in her sister’s eyes.  For all of her bohemian ways Alex never seemed to fear the unknown or the future.  Even when her world fell apart around her (several times) fear was never present in her eyes.  What had happened today to alter her this much?

With her hand on her cheek and a calming voice she asks, “Tell me love, what happened today?  What has you so scared?”

Turning to look at Matt lying there it’s like the entire day races past her in a moment.  _‘How could a day that started out so lovely end up like this?’_   Turning back to Nicola she chokes out, “It wasn’t supposed to end like this?  How ?  Why?”  She lays her head against her sister’s arm resuming her vigilant watch over Matt’s breathing.

As the silence continues past several minutes she prompts her, “Alex can you tell me what happened?  How did you get here?”

She swats at the never ending tears making it hard to focus on Matt and starts at the beginning when everything was still right with the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. In a Moment

Despite the fact that it had been about three years since Matt and Alex had worked together, two years since Matt had left Who they still kept in touch.  He kept in touch with her as regularly as he did with Karen and Arthur.  Often when he was in LA he would meet up with Alex for lunch or dinner.  He considered her a great friend and very much appreciated her advice as he navigated the new world of Hollywood. 

Alex had often brought her daughter to the Who set.  Her and Matt had hit it off immediately.   Alex used to tease him that it was because he was the ‘same age’.  So from their many on-set shenanigans he was also good friends with her daughter, Salome.  It wasn’t unusual for the three of them to do something together.  It could be as ordinary as shopping for school clothes or as on one bright occasion spend the day at Disneyland. 

So it wasn’t out of the ordinary that when they both were back in London, with an afternoon off, that they had made plans to meet for lunch.  Matt waited on the sidewalk outside the café they had agreed to meet at.  Despite it being March it was actually a mild day with the sun peeking out behind the clouds for once.  He wanted to be outside to enjoy this lovely respite from the dreary winter they had been having.

Engrossed in his phone he didn’t see her approach.  Snatching his phone from his hand he was just about to give chase to the thief when he saw Alex smiling back at him.  “Hello Sweetie!”  A wide grin transformed his face as he immediately brought his arms around her for a full body hug.  No one hugs like Matt Smith. 

When they separate she hands him back his phone and he offers her his arm to escort her to the café.  “So darling, how are things going with you?”  She asks as they are shown to their seats.  Lunch was lovely as they caught each other up on their lives.  It’s not that they didn’t talk or text often but you can only say so much in quick conversations or a short text.

At the end of lunch she announces that she needs to do a little shopping.  “It’s Salome’s birthday in a few weeks and I still have no idea what to get her.  Would you like to help me darling?”

Matt was bouncing in his seat.  “I would love to help you shop for ‘my poppet’.”  He tried to hide the crushed look on his face when Alex told him she probably wouldn’t like to be called that anymore since she was ‘a mature teenager’.

As they were heading to the shops she remembered that she needed to make a quick stop to the bank.  “I need to get some papers from my safety deposit box.  It will just take a tic.”  She promised.  He followed her through the bank to the clerk that showed them to the secure boxes.  When the clerk showed them to a small room for her to have privacy in accessing her box he offered to wait outside.  “There’s no need Matt.  It’s not like I have any secrets anyways.” 

He waited with her as she rooted through her box to find the papers she required.  He tried not to look but he couldn’t help to see _Divorce Decree_ a couple of times followed by _Custody of Minor Child_.  Whatever Alex had come here for it didn’t seem as if those were it as she laid them aside till she found what she was looking for.  With the papers safely inside her large purse she put everything else back in and closed the box.

Getting the papers was no problem.  It was when they walked out of the little room that they had been shown to with her safety deposit box that the problems began.  Apparently while they were in the room armed robbers had taken over the bank. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they came out of the room it was to face men in black combat gear with large guns.  Immediately Alex dropped her safety deposit box so she could put her hands in the air as she was commanded to do.  They were ushered to the opposing wall with the other customers and employees.

This apparently wasn’t a regular bank heist.  They weren’t just there for the money.  No, it wasn’t a quick grab and go.  They wanted something specific from the safety deposit boxes.  As they huddled on the floor with the others the men in black interrogated the bank manager.  Something about codes, they couldn’t be sure.  The black ski masks muffled their voices and if Alex was correct the accent was eastern European.

Unfortunately, for the bank manager, he wasn’t willing to give them the codes that they wanted.  They watched in horror as they shot him first in one kneecap, then the other in an effort to make him talk.  In the end they shot him through the head when he kept babbling on about company policy.

Next they grabbed the assistant bank manager.  She said she was willing to cooperate but she claimed she didn’t have the information they needed.  That only Mr. Davies had…and now he was gone.  This inflamed the robbers and they started threatening the lives of everyone in the bank if they didn’t get what they wanted.

Alex had been clinging to Matt the entire time.  Quietly he tried to reassure her despite the fact that his own nerves were off the chart.  He held her hand tight occasionally giving it a squeeze to reassure her.  He wasn’t sure if that was for him or her but it seemed to help.

When they started in on the assistant bank manager and threatened everyone’s lives something in Matt snapped.  Channeling his Doctor persona he tried to reason with them.  When that didn’t seem to work, he tried logic.  “Surely the codes must be written down somewhere.  What if something happened to Mr. Davies?”  They all looked at the dead man slumped against the wall covered in blood.  _‘Yeah, what if something happened to him?’_   “There would have to be a backup system”, he tried to convince the robbers.

When he started to talk to the ring leader of the group she tried to hush him.  She was sure no good would come of it.  She also wasn’t sure if he had forgotten he was just Matt, the actor and not really the Doctor.  _‘He does know he won’t regenerate, doesn’t he?  Why is he doing this?’_ She fretted _._

Things seemed to be working up until the point when they didn’t.  He, along with the assistant bank manager couldn’t find the bank codes.  They didn’t seem to be in any computer files, nor on scraps of paper in or around his desk.  Matt looked at the young woman, probably a few years younger than him, to see if she was holding out on him.  She seemed pretty scared and he concluded she had no more idea where these ‘codes’ were than he did.

Getting desperate again, the robbers again threatened the customers and the employees waving their guns in front of them.  When the leader grabbed the assistant bank manager to convince her to talk, Matt jumped in front of her.  The sound of the gun going off is something Alex will never be able to get out of her memory.  He was hit in the abdomen.  She watched in horror as he fell to the ground.

The shooter didn’t flinch, just walked over his fallen body to pull on the assistant’s hair as if that would get her to tell him something she really didn’t know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt’s eyes peered around until he saw Alex.  Focusing on her he slid his body across the marble floor leaving a trail of blood.  They no longer seemed concerned with him.   He worked his way back to Alex.  “Alex.”  He gasped.

“Oh my god, darling.”  Immediately she pulled his coat and shirt away to look at his gunshot wound.  It was bleeding extensively.  Taking her cotton scarf from around her neck she pressed it into the wound.  He hissed at the pressure but was grateful for her presence.  She didn’t know much about medicine but a few things trickled in from her time as Doctor Corday.  It seemed like forever that she sat there pushing into his abdomen praying that she could stop the bleeding.  She wasn’t sure how long he had but she knew from her ER days that if she couldn’t stop the bleeding he was going to surely die.

He must have sensed that as well.  Lying there on the cold, hard, marble floor of the bank he looked into her eyes.  “Sweetheart, don’t cry.”

She sniffed at that.  “That’s a little hard not to darling with you bleeding everywhere.”

“Alex, come here.”  She bent down to within inches of his face.  He reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.  “That’s better.  That’s my Alex.”

She bent down and kissed his forehead keeping her hands pressed firmly against his abdomen.  Hovering near his face he looked at her with a clarity he had never had before.  “Alex.  I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.”  She responded.

“No, I mean really love you.  I’m _in love_ with you.”  She gasped at his words.

Feeling scared and brave at the same time she admitted her only real secret.  “I’m in love with you too darling.”  When his eyes go wide she adds.  “I have been for a long time.”  She leans in kissing him. 

Although he responds to her she can feel him slipping away.  “just wish ….I hadn’t ….waited …..till ….too late.”

She begged him to live.  “Please Matt, don’t leave…..me…..us.  Please!”  She professed her own love for him, willing him to hang on.  Shortly before the SWAT team stormed the bank he passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotcha!!! Sorry for the mixups on the tags......please forgive me and read on.!


	3. The Next 48-72 Hours

In short order the police had the robbers face down and zip tied.  Given the ‘all clear’ the rescue   squad quickly entered the building.  They were able to get him on a gurney and into an ambulance fairly quickly.  She refused to leave his side continuing to hold pressure into his abdomen.  When the ambulance was finally en-route they convinced her to sit back so they could more properly dress the wound.  Packing it with sterile gauze they held tight to his side as the sirens blared down the street.  She moved to his head where she placed a kiss on his forehead praying that he would make it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until they made it to the hospital did they insist on looking her over.  Her hands were covered in blood, but it was Matt’s blood.  She insisted she was fine but they refused to let her near him until they checked her out.  After the doctor was satisfied that she had not been physically injured herself he had the nurse clean her up.  On his way out he murmured, “Keep a close eye for signs of shock.”

The nurse had nodded as she brought a basin of antiseptic to wash off her hands.  “The doctors here are really good.  They are doing everything they can for your friend.”  Alex nodded numbly as she allowed the nurse to clean the blood from her hands. 

When they finally let her back to the area where they were working on Matt, she heard the monitors go off.  Emergency personnel rushed passed her as the shout of “crash cart” was heard.  She had to lean against a nearby wall to keep from falling down.  With her head against the wall she listened intently to the sounds behind the curtain.  When she heard the beat of his heart again her legs finally gave way and she slid down the wall.

That was where the doctor found her to tell her that they were taking him to surgery.  He had lost a lot of blood but he was hopeful.

After she watched him being wheeled past her on his way to surgery the kind nurse from earlier led her to the surgery waiting room.  She was barely aware that the nurse had sat next to her.  All she could think of is how close to death he came and how pale he looked as was wheeled by.

“Is there someone you can call?”  This brought her a bit out of her fog.

She realized. “Oh god, I need to call his parents!”

“Yes, you probably should do that.  I can do that if you like.” 

She shook her head.  “No, I’ll take care of it.  Thank you.”

“What about you?  Is there someone I can call for you?”

“Um, my sister, if you wouldn’t mind?”  The nurse nodded.  “It’s just if I call she’ll have a million questions.  I don’t think I can…..”

The nurse laid her hand over her shaking ones.  “I understand.  Give me her name and number.”

Sighing in relief, she scrolled down through her contacts, handing the phone to her when she got to Nicola.  She barely heard what the nurse told her but soon she was pressing the phone back into her hand.  “She’s on her way.  Is there anything else I can do?”

“No.”  She shakes her head.  “I need to make these calls myself.”

“I understand.  I’ll be at the nurse’s station if you need me and we will give you an update as soon as we know anything.”

She nodded then reached out for her arm as she began to walk away.  “Thank you.”

The nurse smiled as she patted her hand then headed back to her station.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somehow she mustered the energy to call Matt’s parents.  Of course they were distraught but she assured them she wouldn’t leave his side.  They let her know they would be there as soon as they could but it might take them 4-5 hours to get there with the new snow that had fallen.  Begging them to be careful she again assured them the doctors were doing all they could and that she would not leave him.

Next she debated whether she should call Karen and Arthur.  She knew however if Karen found out any other way she would never speak to her again.  Bracing herself she pressed her number.  She actually had no idea where in the world Karen was at the moment so she shouldn’t have been surprised that her hello came from just being woken up.  After letting her know what had happened she found out that she was in LA. 

Despite wanting to fly out immediately she had film obligations lined up for the week.  Alex convinced her to stay as there wasn’t much she could do when she got here.  She did ask if she would talk to Salome.  Much like her sister, she wasn’t ready for the stream of questions that her daughter would have or the strength to reassure her when she wasn’t so sure herself.  Karen seemed glad to be doing something useful in the situation assuring Alex that she would watch over her ‘granddaughter’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was glad to have the phone calls done but then with nothing to occupy her quickly she panicked with thoughts of Matt lying on an operating table fighting for his life.  As she paced the floor she thought of the many wonderful times she had had with the young man. 

From the moment she met him he had been ‘seared into her heart’ as the Doctor would say.  It wasn’t always _those_ kinds of feeling of love she had felt for him.  He was her friend and they just got on well, always had.

She tries to remember when that changed for her.  When did she start thinking of him as more than a friend?  Probably around the time of their first on-screen kiss…..she remembers that day…

But then she realizes no, it was before that……long before that…probably from that day when River had to fling herself at the Doctor.  She remembers his light touches and her surprise at his physical reaction to her.  _‘He’s a young man.  Why would he react to someone as old as me?’_  

She had tried to always push any of those thoughts out of her mind.  Whenever they flirted she dismissed her feelings.  Whenever he touched her she dismissed her feelings.  Whenever it was just the two of them she dismissed any feelings beyond friendship.

When she watched him get shot she couldn’t dismiss those feelings any longer.  As he fell to the floor their entire relationship flashed before her eyes.  All the missed opportunities, all the times they could have taken things further if only one of them had been brave enough.  When he confessed his feelings to her nothing could have held her back….not in that moment.

She can’t help but worry now that this was just the heat of the moment….a dying breath.  _‘How will he feel when he wakes up?  If he wakes up?’_ She reminds herself.

It seems forever when the doctor finally comes out to talk with her.  “Mr. Smith has pulled through the surgery.  We were able to get the bullet out, fortunately it had not hit any major organs.  He’s lost a lot of blood and we’re going to watch him carefully for infection.  The next 48-72 hours are critical.  A nurse will come for you when he is out of recovery and into a room.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Pause/Rewind

_It seems forever when the doctor finally comes out to talk with her.  “Mr. Smith has pulled through the surgery.  We were able to get the bullet out, fortunately it had not hit any major organs.  He’s lost a lot of blood and we’re going to watch him carefully for infection.  The next 48-72 hours are critical.  A nurse will come for you when he is out of recovery and into a room.”_

And that’s where she is right now.  Nicola had listened to her without interruption.  She was sure she needed to just say it, get it out, with someone she didn’t have to edit her words to.

Nicola continued to hold her and assure her that Matt was going to be fine.  This was not the time to call her sister out on her apparent feelings for Matt Smith.

The nurses came in frequently checking his vitals, checking the IVs, the blood plasma, and the many machines he seemed to be attached to.  Other than on ER she had never seen anyone hooked up like this.  It was partly unnerving and partly comforting.  Hearing his steady heartbeat through the heart monitor reassured her that he was still alive even as her own eyes fell shut.

Nicola watched as she slept, her head resting against her arms on Matt’s bed facing him.  Her right hand was wrapped around his left willing him to fight for his life.  After an hour she stepped out to get some tea.

That is how Matt’s parents found them when they entered his hospital room.  Quietly Lynne fussed over Matt’s pale skin letting the image of her son being surrounded by machines finally get to her.  David held her tight as he too choked back a sob at the sight of his son.

Amongst the machines and the sterile environment was a mound of curly hair with a hand that wasn’t about to let go of their sons’.  Seeing her obvious affection for their son warmed their heart even with how upsetting the situation was.

Alex awoke to the sound of voices.  The nurse was giving Lynne and David an update on their son’s condition when she looked up to realize that Nicola was gone but that she wasn’t alone.  Seeing her waking up Lynne spoke first.  “Hi there Alex.”

“Hello.”  She was a bit groggy.  It took her a minute to take in the scene and remember all that had happened.

Looking past Lynne and David she asks the nurse, “How is he?”

The nurse addresses them all.  “His vitals are looking good.  So far he has shown no signs of infection.”

“When will he wake up?”  Lynne asks.

“It will probably be soon.” Is all she says.

After the nurse leaves, Lynne comes around to sit in the chair vacated by Nicola.  Alex is still clutching Matt’s hand.  Lynne takes her other one in hers.  They smile at each other knowing they will look out for him together.  David pulls a chair to the other side of the bed resting his hand against his son’s leg.  He doesn’t want to interfere with the heart monitor or the IVs connected to his right arm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s several hours before he wakes up.  When the doctor comes in to examine him he is happy with what he sees.  “As long as you don’t develop an infection, you should make a full recovery.”  Lynne and Alex hug each other before Lynne goes to hug her husband.  Alex holds tight to Matt’s hand tears of joy on her cheeks.

Matt’s a bit groggy but he seems to get the understanding that he is not dying.  He smiles back at Alex a bit surprised by the intense look that she is giving him.  As expected he falls back into sleep.  Alex shoos his parents off to his place to get some rest.  Lynne doesn’t even try to talk her into coming with them.  It’s obvious she is dedicated to her son.  She’s glad they seemed to have finally told each other how they feel.  “Call us if anything changes.”

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he wakes again Alex is asleep with her head on the edge of his bed.  Her hand rests atop his.  Pulling his hand from under hers he wraps his fingers around her curls.  Somehow feeling her hair between his fingers gives him such comfort.  He feels at home with her here, as if everything is going to be ok.

As he lies there looking at her beautiful face he begins to remember the siege at the bank.  He remembers telling her how he felt.  He thought they were his dying words.  He’s sure that Alex is just here because she thought he was dying too.  Now that he’s not she’ll wish they had never exchanged words of love.  ‘How could she possible love an idiot like me?’   

A little while later she wakes up.  She smiles up at him relishing the feel of his hand in her hair.  “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?”  She inquires while she stretches in her chair.

He practically chokes as she makes sounds he had only hoped he’d ever hear.  “A bit like an idiot.”

She stares at him.  “An idiot?  Why on earth for?  If it wasn’t for you we might have all been killed.”

Looking at her incredulously he asks, “How do you figure that?”

“Well while you distracted them with looking for the codes the SWAT team was able to get into position.  Of course, we could have done without you getting shot in the process.”

“Yeah”, he looks down, “I think I would have liked to have done without that as well.”  He laughs but it hurts so he stops himself.

“Now there.”  She fusses over his blankets.  “Let’s not have you pull out your stitches.”  She moves a little closer to him pushing his fringe off of his forehead.

“Um, so, uh, I didn’t say anything embarrassing did I?”  He uses all of his actor skills to keep a blank look on his face.  He knows what he said.  He knows what she said.  But he’s trying to give her an out by pretending he doesn’t remember their exchange.

She sucks in a breath trying not to look as devastated as she feels.  She’s an actress; those skills can come in handy at times.  Shaking her head she lies, “No, you didn’t say anything embarrassing.  You passed out pretty quickly.”

_‘So she took the out.  Ok, that’s done then.’_   He smiles despite the ache in his heart.  “Well that’s good.” He says.

She falls back into the chair at his bedside.  She’s a bit devastated.  She’s a bit relieved.  _‘He doesn’t remember.  Maybe it wasn’t real to begin with.  It’s probably for the best.’_   “Yes, sweetie it’s good.”  They sit there watching each other for what seems like forever not really knowing what else to say.

As soon as his parents show up in the morning she makes her excuses so she can get out of there.  It hurts too much to be beside him right now.  “Bye dar…Matt.  I’ll be by later.”

“Thank you Alex.  Thank you for saving my life.”  When his mum raises an eyebrow he continues.  “She did you know.  Did her Dr. Corday on me, kept me from bleeding to death.  Alex Kingston, my Doctor.”  He smiles, a bit too brightly at her and it’s killing her…….and him. 

She smiles at them before she races out the door.  Leaning against the wall just outside his room she tries to catch her breath, trying to remember how to breathe.  Realizing she doesn’t have a car here, she calls for a taxi to take her home.  Walking into her flat she drops her bag at her feet, shuffles out of her shoes and continues on towards the washroom. 

Catching sight of herself in the mirror she sees the devastation.  _‘He didn’t die.’_  She reminds herself but _‘why does it feel like he did?’_   As she stares at herself she sees the blood, his blood on her shirt, her jeans.  She pulls at her shirt tearing the buttons desperate to get it off quickly.  She throws it to the floor then hurries to remove her jeans adding them to the pile.  Leaning on the vanity she stares at herself wishing she was younger, wishing she was what he wanted.

Moving to the tub she turns the taps on full, adding some bath crystals.  Removing her bra and knickers she lights a few candles and shuts off the overhead light.  In a misty glow she envelopes her body in the warmth and bubbles of the bath trying to will away the last twenty-four hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	5. Erase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As happy as we are about Alex's real life (and we are!!) I hope you don't mind that we continue our FICTIONAL world here.

As soon as Alex flees his room he deflates.  His mum notices and smacks his shoulder.  “What’s that for?” 

“What’d you do?”  She eyes him with a look only a mother can pin you down with.

“Nothing.”  He said but he wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“I don’t believe you.  You have your guilty face on.”

“My what?”

His dad intervenes.  “Lynne, give him a break.  He just had major surgery.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She comes back the next day to see him.  She tries to go back to him just being his friend but a Pandora’s box of feelings has been opened.  She can’t dismiss those feelings any longer.  Every interchange with him is like pure torture.

He’s feeling the same way.  It kills him to deny his feelings for her but he thinks he’s doing her a favor.  He’s sure she would never want to be with him, like that.  He wants to keep her as his friend so he convinces himself that he is doing what he must.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lynne watches their exchanges with each other.  Now she hasn’t spent a lot of time around the two of them but they have never acted…this careful… with each other _.  ‘Where is the banter? They can barely look at one another.  What happened between them?’_

When Alex leaves less than an hour later Lynne sends David off to get them a proper lunch.  As soon as he’s gone she rounds on Matt.  He’s sitting up today, feeling better, but sore.  “So do you want to tell me what’s really going on?”  He looks down at his hands as he rubs his fingers together trying hard not to make eye contact with his mum. 

She sits on the edge of his bed.  “Matthew Robert, look at me.”  Slowly he raises his head looking at her through his fringe.  “I know something happened between you and Alex.  How about you tell me about it?”

“Mum, its…its complicated.”

She watches him carefully seeing the sadness in his eyes, the joy that he usually has when he talks about Alex is nowhere to be seen.  “Do you blame her?”

“What?”  He stares at her.

“Do you blame her for you getting shot?”

“No, of course not!”

“But you wouldn’t have even been at the bank if it wasn’t for Alex?”

He tries sitting up despite the wincing it causes him.  “Mum, it wasn’t Alex’s fault.  You can’t blame her, it wasn’t her fault.”

“I don’t blame her but I’m not the one who can’t look her in the eye.”  His eyes fall to his hands again.  “And apparently you can’t look me in the eye either.  So what really happened then?”

He hides his face in his hands.  “I told her.”

“You told her?  You told her what?”  He sneaks a look between his fingers.  “Oh!”  He goes red all the way to his ears.

“So I gather she didn’t respond the same?”

“No, no she did.”

“Then I’m confused.  Why are you two acting like you barely know each other?”

“Because I lied.”  She crosses her arms staring him down.  “No, not when I told her I loved her but the next day ……when ….I pretended I didn’t remember saying it.”  His voice so soft at the end she almost missed it.

“You did what?”  He presses his face into his hand wishing he could avoid this conversation.  But of course his mum is not going to let that happen.  “Why?”

He figures he best just get this over with so he tells her the truth.  “When I told her I really thought I might be dying.  I mean it was a pretty good possibility.  I could see it in her eyes; she thought so too.  She told me she loved me too but maybe she just said it to give me hope ….or I don’t know.  I just panicked.”

She comes over to him and wraps him gently in her arms.  “Matt, I love you but you’re an idiot.”  He started to laugh but then he felt his stitches pull and tried to stop.

“Mum!”

“Sorry, I forgot you couldn’t laugh.”  She kisses his forehead.  “But Matt you have to tell her……the truth.”  She leans back to look him in the eye.  “You know that don’t you?”

“But I don’t think she wants that with me mum and if I tell her again then I won’t even be able to have her as my friend.”

“You’re wrong you know.”  She continues to hold him in her arms.  “When I came in yesterday she was laying on your bed holding your hand willing you to live.”  He opened his mouth to say something but she didn’t give him a chance.  “And when she woke she interrogated the nurse to within an inch of her life to be sure you were being looked after.  And don’t think I didn’t see the looks the two of you were giving each other when you first woke up.  She feels the same way about you.”

“What if your wrong mum?” He whinges.

“I’m your mum.  I’m never wrong.”  He snorts until it hurts….literally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicola calls Alex to check up on Matt.  “Hey Alex, so how is Matt doing?”

“Um, he’s doing well.  He woke up.  The doctor says he expects him to make a complete recovery.”

“Well, that’s good.  I’m sure you are relieved.”

“Yes, yes I am.”  Her voice sounds tight, Nicola senses something’s off.

“Alex, what’s wrong?  You don’t sound like someone whose love is going to be fine.”

Her voice quavers.  “He’s not.” 

“What do you mean?  You said he was going to be fine.”

“Yes, he’s going to be fine.  I meant he’s not my love.”

“I don’t understand.  I thought you told me he told you he loved you and you told him the same.”

She wipes away the tears as they escape her eyes.  “Yeah, but then he forgot.”

“What?  He forgot he loves you?”

“Yes.”  She holds back the tears as best she can.  “Or at least he forgot he told me he did.”

“Alex I don’t understand.  What’s going on?”

“To be honest, I’m not really sure.  When he woke up the first time he seemed happy to see me.  I know I was happy that he was awake and seemed to be doing well.  But then when he woke up the second time things were weird between us.  He asked me if he had said anything when he thought he was dying.  I knew then that he didn’t remember.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that he didn’t.”

“But Alex, don’t you think he was being honest with you?  It doesn’t make any sense that he would lie to you when he thought he might not make it.”

She’s properly crying now and this conversation is getting harder.  “Nicola I don’t know.  I don’t think I can talk about this anymore.”

“But Alex did you tell him how you feel?”

“No and I’m not going to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not throwing myself at him.  He’s a young man who should be with a young woman.  I’ll never be that for him.”

“For the record….I think you’re wrong.”

“Duly noted.  I need to go.”  She clicks off the call and curls up on the sofa wondering how she’s ever going to face Matt ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicola puts in a call to Lynne Smith. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	6. Mother Knows Best

Matt stays in the hospital for an additional five days.  Alex calls but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t stop by.  Matt’s not really surprised.  He’s not sure he can face her right now anyways.

Lynne calls Alex to invite her to Matt’s coming home party.  She tries to think of an excuse out of it but she really does want to see Matt.  She misses him and she wants him to be alright.  Lynne is thrilled when she agrees to be there.

When Matt is discharged from the hospital his parents are there to take him home.  He’s a bit sad that Alex didn’t come as well.  He was hoping she would.  As awkward as their last meeting was; he’s missed  her.  He’d secretly hoped she’d be there to take him home.

“Come on Matt.  Let’s get you inside and on the couch.”  His mum fusses over him.

“Mum, I’m not an invalid.  I can still walk about.”

“Yes, I know you can but I don’t want you to overdo it too soon.  You still have your stitches for another week and the doctor said you’re going to be weak for a few weeks.”

“I know Mum I was there when he told you.  I promise I’ll take it easy.”  He drags himself over to the sofa.  He’d never admit to his mum that the trip home was exhausting.  Flopping on the couch he lays back wishing to close his eyes for just a moment.  When his mum comes back in with a cuppa tea he’s already asleep.

She smiles at him.  At the sound of the doorbell she goes straight to it so as to not wake him.  “Alex!  I’m so glad you could make it.”  She lets her in.  As she’s taking off her coat Lynne says, “I’m afraid our patient fell asleep on us as soon as we got home.”

“Really?”

“He didn’t even make it till I made tea.”  She observed as Alex went over to the sofa to watch him sleep.  He looked so peaceful.  For just a moment she remembered the image of him covered in blood and in so much pain.  It caused her to shudder.  She was so incredibly grateful that he was going to be alright.  Pushing away his fringe she kissed his forehead. 

“ _We_ can still have tea.”  Lynne offers.

Alex looks up, “Yes, that would be lovely.” 

They head into the kitchen where Lynne already has a pot of tea steeping.  “I hope you like Earl Gray, that’s all he seems to have in his cupboards.”

“Well, that’s cause it’s his favorite.”  She takes the offered cup pouring a splash of milk in it before stirring.

“That it is.”  They both sit in quiet contemplation.

“I’m glad you were able to come today Alex.  I know he’s missed seeing you this past week.”

“Oh I’m sure he had plenty of visitors.”

“Perhaps, but every time his door opened he’d look but seemed disappointed that it was not who he wanted to see.  Any idea who that might have been?”

She turned to watch him sleeping from the kitchen.  “No idea.”  Lynne smiled.  She had her answer.

As if on cue, David came through the hallway with their luggage.  “Are you ready, Lynne?”

“Yes, just give me a few minutes.”  She went to the sink washing her cup and putting it in the strainer.

Alex looked at her oddly.  “Are you leaving?”

“Yes, I’m sorry but we’ve had a change of plans.  We have to head back sooner than we thought.  I’m sure you can handle things here.”  She starts towards the lounge.

“Wait!  What?  You’re leaving?  You’re not going to wait until he wakes up.”  She gestures to a sleeping Matt on the sofa.

“I don’t want to wake him dear.  He needs his rest.  Tell him we’ll call him when we get home.”  She kisses his forehead before getting her coat from the hook.  Alex is trying to figure out what is going on but Lynne’s not giving her time to process.  “Alex, thank you for taking care of Matt on that horrible day and thank you for being here for him today.”  She gives her a hug before heading out the door where David has the car running.  Without thinking about it she waves at them as they pull out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing the door she catches sight of Matt’s sleeping form and wonders ‘what am I going to do now?’  She can’t leave him.  It’s doubtful he’s ready to be left alone if just coming home from the hospital was that exhausting.  Not being able to stop herself she stands next to the sofa watching him sleep.  It’s several minutes before she decides that this is creepy stalker behavior and heads to the kitchen.

After taking stock of the fridge and pantry she decides to make roasted chicken with a side of rice for dinner.  She notes that there are ingredients for a salad as well.  After preparing the chicken she puts it in the oven calculating that she has about an hour before she will need to ready the rest of the meal. 

Heading back into the lounge Matt seems to still be enjoying his nap.  Not wanting to wake him she bypasses the telly to look over his book collection.  She’d never realized how well read he was.  Choosing a book of poems by Eliot she sits in the chair adjoining the sofa.

Soon the smell of roasting chicken is filling the flat causing her patient to wake up.  Lying there he slowly opens his eyes sure that he is still dreaming.  _‘Alex is here.’_   He watches her as she is absorbed in what she’s reading.  Her one leg is tucked under her while the other is propped on the cushion.  She rubs her bottom lip with her index finger as she reads.  She looks so adorable.  She doesn’t notice that he is awake until the chime on her phone causes her to look up.

“Hi.”  She says softly.

“Hi there yourself.”  His voice is still rough from sleep.  “I thought maybe I was still dreaming.”

“Why’s that?”

“Thought you were avoiding me.”

“I told you I was busy.  You didn’t need me.  You had your mum fussing over you.”

He looks around.  “Yeah, where is mum?”

“Well actually, her and your dad headed home about an hour and a half ago.”

His eyes went wide.  “They what?  I thought they were going to stay for a few more days.”

“They didn’t tell me the details just that there plans had changed and that they needed to get back.  Lynne said she’d give you a call when they get home.”

“You getting hungry?”  She asks as she puts the book aside to get up.

He sits up stretching, that little bit of skin showing beneath his shirt.  It makes her heart race till she catches sight of his bandage.  She’s reminded how close she came to losing him forever.  Her heart hurts wanting to run to him and take him in her arms.

“Yeah, I am getting a little peckish.”  His answer pulled her from her thoughts and back to the present. 

Flustered she covers by heading to the kitchen, “Well let me get the rest of dinner ready.”

He sits there watching her rush to the other room.  _‘God I’ve missed her.  Maybe…..maybe I should tell her again.  Maybe mum’s right.’_   He shakes his head pushing himself off the sofa and down the hall. 

She hears him bumping into the walls.  “What are you doing?”  She calls out.

“Just heading to the loo.”  He answers back.

She comes to the doorway that leads to the hallway.  “Do you need help?”

Leaning against the wall he reads the concern on her face.  “I think I got this.”  She nods, her hands knotting the dishtowel.  “But you can always help me out of my clothes later if you like.”  He waggles his eyebrows at her.

Smirking she replies, “In your dreams.”

Still leaning there he watches as she turns back into the kitchen.  “Yeah.”  He breathes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little while later he wanders into the kitchen.  “What smells so good in here, Kingston?”

He startles her as she is pulling the chicken from the oven causing the pan to fall into her arm.  “Owww!”  Quickly she drops the pan onto the stovetop.

He immediately comes next to her to see what has happened.  “Kingston, your arm!  Quick, come here.”  He pulls her arm under the tap cooling the skin.  There’s a fairly large patch of red skin where she came in contact with the hot pan.  “Keep your arm under the tap.  I’ll go get supplies.”

She hears him stumble back down the hall and rustling in the medicine cabinet before coming back to the kitchen.  Tears form in her eyes from the pain in her arm _.  ‘Why wasn’t I more careful?  Oh yeah, Matt!  Matt startled me.’_

Just then Matt stumbles back into the kitchen startling her again from her thoughts.  She jumps pulling her arm from the cool water flinging droplets all over the kitchen and him.  Laughing at her, “Gees Kingston, you’re as flaily as me!”

“It’s all your fault!”  She’s teasing but he feels guilty none the same. 

Gently he takes her arm putting it back under the cool water.  “I’m sorry Alex.”  His voice contrite.  Shutting off the tap he dabs her arm gently with the towel to dry it. 

“Hsssss” She tries pulling her arm away.

“I’m sorry Alex.”  He says again bringing her arm to his lips.  Carefully, gently he kisses against her burned skin.  She wants to pull away but she can’t, she won’t.  He peeks out from behind his fringe to see her face.  The look of love there gave him courage.  He continues to ply her arm with kisses.  He hears and feels her suck in a breath.

Raising himself up he stands before her their eyes lock onto one another.  Slowly he grazes his hand against her cheek drying the tears.  “I’m sorry Alex.”

Closing her eyes she tries to make light of this moment.  “Matt, it wasn’t your fault.”

Holding his palm against her cheek he continues to lightly rub her cheek.  “But it was, your arm, and…. All of it.”

Slowly she opens her eyes realizing that maybe this conversation was about more than a slight burn.  Leaning into his palm she asks with her eyes what he means.

“I love you, Alex.”  Her breath hitches and he inches closer to her.  “I do.  I remember everything we said that day at the bank.  I’m sorry.  I got scared, scared that you wouldn’t want this, want me.  So I lied that I didn’t remember what we said that day but I do.  I do.  I love you.”

When he stops his ramble she pulls him by his shirt kissing him hard.  Her eyes pierce his when they finally part.  “I love you too.  I do.  I’m sorry.  I lied too.  I was afraid you regretted what you said.”

“Never.”  He interrupts.

“Me neither.”  She smiles at him.

She goes to wrap her arms around him when his hair grazes her burn causing her to ‘hiss’ in pain.  “Oh Alex we need to fix up your arm.  Here come sit on this stool.”  He guides her to sit down.  Like the expert in first-aid that he has become due to his own mishaps he pulls out the burn ointment, gauze, and adhesive tape.  With kind and caring hands he applies the ointment covering the area with the gauze and keeping it in place with the tape.  “There you go, all better.”  He brings her hand to his lips kissing it gently.

“Thank you.  I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you.”

Pulling her closer he says, “How about we take care of each other?”

“I’d like that.”  She kisses him softly holding him close.

“Me too.”  He whispers into her hair.

A few minutes later he asks, “Do you smell something?”

“Oh crap, the rice!”  Turning to the stove she can smell the burnt rice.  Quickly she shuts it off putting the pot in the sink.  “Um, you weren’t really hungry for rice, were you?”

He can’t keep from laughing.  She gives him an ugly look.  “Sorry love.  It’s just it’s like you’ve turned into me.  Maybe we should get you out of the kitchen before you seriously injure yourself.”

She smacks him with the potholder she’s holding.  “Shut up you.  Now get us some drinks, and then sit yourself at the table.  I’m going to get the chicken and salad ready.”

“Yes ma’am.”  He kisses her quickly on the cheek.

They both can’t stop from smiling all through dinner. 

She can’t believe how giggly she’s being.  It reminds her of her teenage daughter when she’s on the phone talking about boys.  He makes her feel so young, even though she doesn’t really see him that way anymore.  For a long time she would look at the two of them and see the age difference…now she just sees Matt and how happy he makes her.

He could dance a jig despite the ridiculous pain in his side.  It was worth getting shot if it gave him the courage to tell Alex how he really felt.  Looking across the table at her he is struck by just how gorgeous she is.  She is radiant.  Of course she’s physically beautiful but he sees who she is inside as well.  She let him in as her friend in a way that she might not have if they would have started out as lovers.  He’s glad that they were friends first but he’s even happier that they are taking this next step.

After dinner she tries to shoo him to the sofa while she cleans up.  “Nope, sorry Kingston I can’t leave you unsupervised in the kitchen.”  She swats at him with the tea towel.

“Now stop that.  I’m an injured man!” 

He means it teasing but she is immediately at his side afraid that she has caused him to rip a stitch or something.  “I’m sorry darling.  Are you ok?”

He takes the opportunity to wrap her in his arms and kiss her softly on the lips.  “I am now.”

Smiling at him she sighs, “Yeah, me too.”

“You know I think this can wait till morning.  Come lay on the sofa with me.”

“You make for a very persuasive argument darling.”

He keeps his arm around Alex as they walk to the lounge.  He will never admit how much he needed her support.  The day was taking its toll, despite the nap.  Honestly he knew the only thing keeping him standing was pure adrenalin.

He practically fell onto the sofa positioning himself so his stitches were on the outside.  She laid down next to him laying her bandaged arm across his stomach.  “We are a pair aren’t we?”  She said.

He laid there running his fingers through her hair and tracing her arm with his other hand.  “Yeah, I think we are the best pair there is.”

“Yeah!”  She sighed.  “I love you.”

“I love you.”  He turned placing a soft kiss on her waiting lips.

Within moments they were both asleep holding on to one another at peace with the knowledge that they are loved _‘and by no one more than me.’_

 

**~The End~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed this little fun FICTIONAL tale. Bless all of you who have left kudos and comments. It feeds the author's soul. Thank you.


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